If you still have problems with erection, you are intermittent, but before each sexual act you are afraid that you can fail, and you can not communicate, then some tips will not hurt you.
First tip – stop thinking about the penis and erection, do not control the condition of your penis, neither visually (with a look) nor physiologically – listening to your sensations, swelling penis. Forget both the penis and the erection.
The second tip – do not be afraid to make new mistresses. With a new partner you can do everything much better than with the old one, who already knows about your weak erection. With a sexual neurosis, as described above, the more a man is attached to his partner, the more likely that he will have a paradoxical reaction. With a new partner, there can be a normal erection.
The third tip – give up the urge to experience orgasm and ejaculate when you are alone with a naked woman.
The fourth tip – during sexual intercourse concentrate on the body, beauty and charm of your partner, use all psychological and biological releasers that enhance excitation with the help of all senses – visually (by sight), enjoying the body of your partner tactilely (with the help of touch) – by touching your hands, lips and tongue, touching your and her skin, touching her chest, back, buttocks and abdomen, kisses and gentle biting of her nipples. Smell – the smell of the skin, hair and lubrication of the genitals, too, has a sensual pleasure. The taste of her saliva and grease are also erotic. These erotic releases will excite you.
The fifth advice is to use the whole arsenal of erotic caresses during intimacy. Invent new caresses. Look for new erogenous zones of a woman. Perhaps she has a wandering zone, the stimulation of which will give her an orgasm even without sexual intercourse, – such cases are many.
The more a partner caresses a woman, the more she likes it. There are no women indifferent to caresses, if the partner for them is emotionally significant. The longer the stage of caresses and the more inventive the partner, the more a woman appreciates him and the stronger her sexual arousal, and therefore, pleasure. And the more a woman is excited by caresses, the stronger the excitement of a man.
The sixth advice – believe that you will give the partner a lot of pleasure even without using the penis, if you are a sexual altruist.
Council number seven – master the technique of oral caresses of a woman (cunnilingus) in order to constantly deliver any partner an ineffable pleasure.
The Taoist healers recommended that men “kiss the woman’s external genitalia, lick the tongue with the clitoris, grab it with her lips and gently suck, caress the tongue of the labia minora and the entrance to the vagina, penetrating it with the tongue as deep as possible until the woman is flooded with her liquid during orgasm “.
If this happens, then your problem will be resolved, an erection will come, and you will be able to easily enter into her vagina, and if not, then nothing too bad, then it will happen a little later.
Council of the eighth – concentrate on the desire to give the partner the maximum satisfaction and to experience during cunnilingus as many orgasms in one night, as long as she is capable, until she herself requests mercy.
Advice ninth – if you love your constant partner and do not want to look for another, if you have a sexual attraction for her, then use the whole arsenal of erotic caresses towards her, if you have not practiced them before. Wake her sensuality if you have not been able to do this before. Behave with her in bed as if you were together for the first time.
If you let her enjoy, she will forget about your erection and will be completely satisfied. And the results will not slow down to follow. Most likely, you will sooner or later have a good erection. But even in this case do not fix it on it – do not try to support it and do not be afraid to lose it. If you learn to satisfy a woman – an erection will be for you in the last place.
Further, when you completely get rid of your fears and gain self-confidence, you decide whether it is worthwhile for you to practice sexual intercourse, or for you, felation is much preferable.
Tip 10 – after you become for your permanent partner the best lover who regularly gives her the opportunity to experience orgasm with cunnilingus, then you can ask her about oral caresses (felation).
If you love her and she loves you, and your only problem is the impossibility of sexual intercourse, then no loving woman, which the partner caresses and gives her the opportunity to enjoy, will not give up the affection. Women are always grateful to men for their tenderness and consideration of their interests. You will be adequately rewarded for your affection by the affection of your partner when she holds the Fellation, and you will both be satisfied and satisfied with each other.
Council eleventh – from the very beginning, be absolutely sure that sooner or later you will get both components of sexual harmony – you will be satisfied yourself and be able to satisfy your partner.
Advice twelfth – if you absolutely want to use coitus, then you can use the method of soft input, which is recommended in the Tao of love. It means that a man can enter his partner without an erection, but with a little help from his fingers.
“If a man is experienced enough, has clever fingers,” writes Taoist Zhang Zhonglan, “he can maneuver even an absolutely flaccid phallus by introducing him into a woman, and at the same time will give her and herself the pleasure of it. Soft input can even be a new exciting moment for a woman, if it is well conducted. As soon as the phallus is inside it, there is a considerable probability that it will become tight. “
The most convenient posture for soft input are some variants of the posture “on the side face to face” or the “man on top” posture.
For successful soft input, a woman must be sufficiently excited to have enough sexual lubricants in her genitals. If it is not enough (for some women it is quite scarce), then you may need an artificial lubricant. It is best to use vegetable oil, because it is a natural product, safe and effective.
If you do not want to dedicate this woman, then rub the vegetable oil on the head and trunk of the penis and get the same effect.
The key is the dexterity of your fingers, which must be able to insert the penis into your partner’s vagina. It is impossible to describe this technique in the book. With the help of a certain training you will be able to learn this.
Once you can enter the penis, fingers need to create a ring on the basis of the penis, the compression of which you can adjust yourself. With this help, compression of the veins is achieved, which prevents the outflow of blood, and the cavernous bodies of the penis become filled with blood, it swells. As soon as at least semi-rigidness of the penis is reached, careful frictions can be started.
With the onset of frictions in most men, if they do not have serious organic causes of impotence, an erection occurs, since rubbing against the vaginal wall is a strong stimulation for the onset and build-up of an erection.
Taoist philosophers write that the technique of soft input is useful not only for men who have problems with erection, but for all men, since no one can be sure of a permanent erection. It is suitable for both skilled and unskillful lovers. For a beginner, it reduces the risk of embarrassment, the Taoists believe, and the experienced reduces the failure rate. Knowing the method of soft input, any man will get rid of fear of insufficient erection, especially if he has a new partner, if he is tired or weakened physically.
“The method of soft input,” writes Zhang Zhonglan, “smashes into two stubborn myths about sex. The first says that a man can not enter a woman until he has achieved an erection; the second is that for an entry the erection should be strong enough. “
The thirteenth council – if there is no love, trust and mutual understanding between you, if you are not emotionally interested in each other, if the partner does not cause you sexual attraction, if you are sure that she will not help you to overcome your problem and will never agree to other options for sexual satisfaction – then there is nothing else left to do but find another partner.
Do not be shocked by such advice. Leading domestic sex therapists (foreign – especially) with some sexual disorders work out with the patient a model of correct behavior for the search and selection of a suitable partner. The search criteria are individual characteristics of the character and mutual understanding of partners, and not the availability of the partner. Even if the search is carried out by the “trial” and “mistakes” method, and the patient will have several failures, sexologists believe that this is lesser evil than the continuation of the previous stereotype of sexual relations, which can only aggravate the violation.
Perhaps this is a real way to get rid of your problem if the reduction of an erection is associated with any psychological reasons – the lack of mutual understanding with the partner, interpersonal conflicts or her wrong, offensive behavior for you, when you suffered a failure in sexual intimacy.
If you have an extremely negative relationship with your current partner, if you believe that it is no longer possible to correct your relationship and you have lost hope and understanding and will never meet you to help correct the existing state of things, then instead of suffering and feel helpless and humiliated next to such a woman, and all this only further exacerbate the situation – it’s much easier not to bring yourself to a persistent impotence and sexual neurosis, and find a friend th partner, feminine and gentle, which is gratefully respond to your kindness and will not treat you with prejudice.
This council refers to unmarried men who have a mistress, but do not marry because of fears that they will not be able to satisfy her in marriage, and at the same time are afraid to get acquainted with other women because of the same fears. He also applies to men who do not have a permanent partner and avoid sexual contact with women, for fear of being untenable with sexual intimacy. In these cases, a good sexual partner can help overcome many doubts.
You can solve this problem yourself. If you are not married, then try to find a partner with a wider range of acceptable sexual relations, and if you are married, then try to change your wife if you have a good relationship and she is ready to meet you.
Men who are married, if they are interested in preserving the family, but have not been able to independently change the views of his wife on the range of acceptability of erotic caresses, one should turn to the sex therapist along with his wife. From the specialist, both spouses will receive qualified recommendations if the problem with erection can be solved with the help of sexotherapy.
It is not excluded that after the partner holds several felallations, and you will feel like a full-time lover because you regularly satisfy her with cunnilingus, in the course of time you will have a good erection even without the felation. You will be able to overcome the problem with erection and in the future will be able to have sexual intercourse, if you want it.
But many men who are familiar with Fellation prefer this method of satisfaction, if the partner does not object, and if the man has the right to choose. It is possible that you, too, in the future will prefer oral sex to sexual intercourse.
Giving your partner the opportunity to experience orgasm with cunnilingus and getting satisfaction from her at the fellation, you will stop fixing on your erection. And this is the most important obstacle, which most often prevents a man from achieving a normal erection. Once again I repeat that the more a man fixes on his erection, the more problems he has with her.
Even in cases of persistent impotence due to organic diseases, if the treatment of the sex therapist did not bring the desired success – a man still has the opportunity to satisfy the woman in a different way, if this side of the problem is his greatest concern. And most partners will treat this quite perfectly, especially young women who are more relaxed about sex. Moreover, many will be extremely pleased with this, since most women, if they have the choice, prefer oral sex to normal sexual intercourse.
If you remember, in the chapter on erogenous zones it is said that women with clitoral orgasm are the majority, just many of our men do not know this and for some reason they try to satisfy a woman with the help of sexual intercourse.
The ability of men to make a long sexual intercourse is considered by our compatriots a great dignity. In the first chapters of the book it is already said that this is not an inalienable quality of a good sexual partner. Sexual intercourse is needed only about one in ten women (or every fifteenth, which is not so significant), and in many cases a prolonged sexual intercourse is painful for a woman with a clitoral version of orgasm – at first she may be pleased, and then some women even get bored, and they they dream that the relationship will soon end, since it does not give them anything, friction and pain. Some women even pretend. that they experience an orgasm, so that the partner will soon finish the bored intercourse.
And most women do not need long-term intercourse, at least for sexual satisfaction. The connection of the sex organs is more necessary for the psychological satisfaction of the woman, so that everything is “as expected” if she adheres to traditional views. To a modern young woman such “traditions” are indifferent, for her the main thing is orgasm. And what is the way it is achieved – this is already a matter of technology and partner skills. Young sexually uninvolved partners require that a man, first of all, have a good command of cunnilingus technique. Even if a woman has a vaginal version of orgasm, but an erotically awakened woman will never give up if the partner offers the clit’s caresses with tongue.
If earlier you had everything in order with an erection, and because of any psychological reason you suffered a failure during sexual intercourse, and later there was a fear of repeating it, then the above tips will help you overcome your fears.
If you get rid of your fears and belief that erection and sexual satisfaction is the most important goal of sexual rapprochement, then you can overcome the most difficult stage, and later the erection can be restored if you stop to fix it and if there are no organic reasons, and there are only your fears, which negatively affect sexual arousal.
But if the breakdown of sexual arousal acquires a persistent character, only a specialist will be able to reveal the true cause. Many men suffer from an inferiority complex due to their weak erection, but are afraid to go to a sex therapist. Do not be afraid, in a visit to the doctor there is nothing humiliating. You go to the doctor when you have a stomach or heart. Why should one be ashamed of going to the doctor for a violation of sexual function? This is the same vital and inalienable function of the body as digestion or the work of the heart. A sex therapist will examine you and conduct a complex of therapeutic activities, if necessary.
For many men it seems humiliating to be unable to have sexual intercourse, even if they are able to achieve satisfaction in a different way. Therefore, in order for a man to be able to choose the most preferable method of sexual satisfaction and feel himself the master of the situation, it is necessary to have qualified treatment with a specialist.
However, in itself an appeal to a sex therapist for many men is a major psychological trauma. Some people can not decide to do this and prefer to stay alone with their erection disorder. This is hardly advisable. If the violation has an organic basis, then only a professional can help.
If the erection is weakened or absent due to any organic causes, then, of course, a thorough examination of a sex therapist is necessary. And after the cause is established, the doctor will prescribe the appropriate treatment. This principle of treatment is called pathogenetic – that is, aimed at eliminating the cause of the disorder, rather than correcting the disorder itself. After successful pathogenetic treatment, a man can live a full sexual life, using all the ways of sexual satisfaction, which he himself prefers and which are desirable for his partner.
Many men do not dare to turn to a specialist with their problems, believing that impotence is an irreversible and incurable disorder.
This opinion is incorrect. Whatever causes lead to a decrease in potency, psychological or organic, it is not fatal. To succumb to despair and make of this tragedy is not worth it. You need to see a doctor and you will see that the situation is not hopeless. Treatment of impotence in our time is real and quite successful.
There are a lot of ways to treat impotence: drugs and hormones, the introduction of drugs to improve blood flow and prevent its rapid outflow, surgical methods, the use of special devices, prosthetics and many others.
Only a doctor can prescribe adequate therapy after a thorough examination and establishing the cause of impotence. Even impotence caused by organic causes is treated.
And in some cases, for success, you do not even need medication, but rather a competent and qualified advice from a specialist that will help to eliminate the causes of functional impotence.